Surgery + The Elbow Patient

Gloria's back surgery went well, although she was discharged this morning with no love lost for her roommate's relatives, who stayed late (and loud) past 11pm. There had been a severe-sounding (seemingly hospital-wide) announcement at 7:56pm (I checked my watch) that "VISITOR'S HOURS ARE ABOUT TO END ON WARDS B, C and D." I wondered if I really had to leave. I asked a nurse, fully expecting to be told to leave. "You can stay a bit, just don't tap dance in the halls," she said. Gloria was sleepy anyway, so I left about 8:15pm. But the party was only starting for the Elbow Patient Relatives.

An unwelcome side-effect of being in the hospital for any length of time, even as a visitor, is that you overhear lots of Unfortunate Medical Histories. The Elbow Patient fell down stairs when she was 11 years old, but didn't tell anyone about it. Six months later, her elbow was frozen in place. She's had two surgeries since then, most recently six years ago, but in this one she got a completely new, artificial elbow. The cast looked a normal cast on an arm, only much wider.

The Iraq Returnee was discharged after his second tour in the US Army a few weeks ago. He bought a motorcycle to celebrate, and crashed it into a wall at thirty-five miles per hour. His mother was learning how to do Sudoku from another relative outside the surgery area near me. "He's my only son—I'm a single mom, and now the government doesn't want to pay for this..." Not good.

Probable Car Accident Person was wearing a neck brace, and looked like his face had made a recent high-velocity impact with a dashboard or steering wheel. He was having trouble getting the rings off his fingers prior to his surgery. "We'll get you lotion, baby oil, whatever it takes," said a nurse. "Those rings are coming off."

A cheery person might listen to these stories and think "Ah—so lucky to not be involved in that—" Instead, I think, "There but for the grace of God—"