Mental images summoned as I attempt my IT band stretching exercises

1) Flimsy screen door and granite boulder, immovably positioned behind the bottom of the door. Rock allows the door to be pushed open only 2 inches. Exercise: "Pushing the top of the door only to its full range of motion, hold for 30 seconds. Repeat." Will door snap off hinges? Probably.

2) Ancient elastic bands under high tension surround a box full of undetonated and highly unstable explosives. Exercise: "Extend band twelve inches from box. Reach full range of motion and hold for 30 seconds. KISS YOUR A** GOODBYE."

3) Corpse with developing rigor mortis on putrefying pillow. Exercise: "Grasping leg of corpse firmly with one one hand, bend it backward behind you. Make sure you keep squeezing the pillow between your legs and hold for thirty seconds." No, thank you.

Laptop on deathbed

It's hard to have a meaningful interaction with one's laptop after the screen goes belly up. I was lucky to have this flat panel sitting around. I'm already used to typing on the laptop, and looking somewhere else.

Better than a disk crash, I guess. Anyway, time to get a new laptop.