Those inventive Plambecks: The burning logs simulator

Almost 30 years ago:

This is the abstract to US Patent 4026544, issued May 31, 1977 to H. Robert Plambeck and H. Robert Plambeck, III [Q: What happened to Jr?]

A burning logs simulator comprises a burning logs replica illuminated internally and presenting to a front viewer or user the appearance of a pile of burning logs. Curtains of mechanically agitated flicker strips are located behind the front of the replica with a light source therebetween and produce flickering imparting a sensation of a fast burning, hot fire throughout the face of the burning logs. The noise or sounds of such a fire are simulated by the moving interaction of two pieces of material, one piece having looped fibers and the other having hooked fibers.

So—I've been been looking at these things in cheap restaurants and other generally crummy settings for over 25 years, suffering in their lame-ass fakery, all the time completely unaware that I could have turned to my companions in a self-satisfied tone and said,

"You know what, see that fake fire thing? Hey—I'm related to the guys who invented that."

What a bummer!

Vertigo

I was sitting in my office a few days ago when suddenly the world started slipping off to the right. Then just as I started to catch up with it again, it snapped back to the left.

Then it slipped back to the right. And snapped back to the left. Et cetera. The whole episode lasted maybe 30 seconds.

It's never happened to me before. Local Medical Experts agree that it was

V-E-R-T-I-G-O

My trip to the doctor today revealed no ear infection.

Everything's holding steady now.

Think of the Impact You Could Make