Shortened quotations

Each quotation has had its final three words removed.

Final punctuation is preserved.

* * * *
Agatha Christie: Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew.

Aldous Huxley: Maybe this world is.

Steven Wright: If you shoot at mimes, should you?

G. K. Chesterton: Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones
is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord.

Mark Twain: It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there
is no distinctly American criminal.

Ambrose Bierce: NON-COMBATANT, n.

William Hazlitt: Without the aid of prejudice and custom I should not
be able to find my way.

Emiliano Zapata: It is better to die on your feet than live.

Jerkwaters

I couldn't Google up a good list, so I asked for suggestions on the NPL list:

From an article in today's NYT about the iPhone:

* * *
"I got to tell you, carrying this thing around and experiencing those
kinds of speeds on a wireless handset, your imagination begins to run
in terms of what's possible," he said, "and by the way, there's not a
3G network available in Ottumwa, Iowa," referring to the so-called
third generation of Web-enabled cellphones that require faster
networks.
* * *
I think I've heard Ottumwa summoned before in such "name a podunk
town" contexts, and almost always with the "Iowa" following it.

Thirty seconds of Googling hasn't revealed a good list such places.

Not to offend anyone, I'll offer Schenectady and Kankakee as
candidates for the list.

THE LIST

Ottumwa, Iowa [Probably from M*A*S*H on TV, as pointed out by several people]
Podunk
Keokuk, Iowa
Mule Shoe, Texas
Uncertain, Texas
Waikikamukau [Why kick a moo cow?]
Schenectady, NY
Kankakee, IL
Anaheim, Azusa, and Cucamonga, CA ["laughed at on old radio." (Wampahoofus)]
Peoria, IL ["this won't play in ..." (Wampahoofus)]
Hoople, ND [Peter Schikele's University of Southern North Dakota at ... (Wampahoofus)].
Butte, Montana (Uncanny)
Intercourse, PA ["you could wind up in ..." (Loki-5)]
The Abilene Paradox (not quite on subject, but interesting [Pintac]).
Humptulips, WA [Growing up in Seattle, it was Humptulips. No, I am not making that up. (CoasterGal)]
Cheesequake NJ
Loyalsock PA
Boring, Oregon [last three: (Sanit)]

Added later:
Kalamazoo [(Graham)]