The Spores, Once Again

In the 12 October 2006 Nature Magazine, pg 629, "Comfortably Numb," I found a pointer to the Erowid Experience Vaults, where you can pick any selection of drugs and find people's description of their experiences after taking them all simultaneously.

It's fascinating reading, but I'm not too tempted to switch from alcohol and caffeine after reading through a few of these trip reports.

Like at Orbitz, you can choose the type of trip you'd like to know more about. Choosing "Mystical Experiences" from the "Category" list box, I found plenty of UFOs, universal insights, and glowing lights. I was about to move on, but then came across this account of a ketamine trip ("ketamine could hold the key to understanding and treating depression," according to the Nature writer Erika Check.)

[My italics]

* * *

My field of vision began to narrow and unfocus, and soon I was not aware of any of my senses at all. I began to be lost deep in thoughts of my life, its direction and meaning. I soon realized that anything and everything I did had no meaning or importance. In fact, I began to move further and further outside of myself. I can only compare it to a movie camera starting at me and moving backwards until it was outside my city, planet, solar system, etc. I realized that nothing in this world had real meaning if you looked at the 'big picture', at which I was now looking.

The essence of what I now was now perceived as liquid, a drop moving throughout the universe. I soon entered into a sort of waiting room, where I was presented with a mass of spherical liquid which represented the collection of individual 'drops', one of which was me, watching it from outside. I realized the truth - that all individuals sprung from this mass of liquid as drops, but that the drops themselves had no individual identity UNTIL they had been individual drops for some time.

In other words, if I were to re-enter this sphere my identity would be lost. I briefly wondered if my identity would be absorbed into this mass, but realized that in fact my identity, everything about me, would be completely erased. The physical world in which we lived, and everything that constituted who I thought I was, was all illusionary and meaningless.

At this point I knew I had a choice - I could re-enter the sphere and get my destiny over with, or I could continue this fabricated life for a little longer. I was unsure what I would decide, but then the horn on the streetcar went off loudly and I was brought abruptly back into this world. I had lost my chance to choose because I had hesitated.

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So, are the "drops" Nozick's Spores?

Cold and Lonely

Tom Waittsy

Slaid Cleaves