Four Escape From New Burnside City Jail

By Rosa Harper
Context Free Press Writer

New Burnside, IL --- Four convicted criminals broke out of police custody this afternoon by dressing themselves in fake police officer's clothing and then making a getaway silently during an electrical outage, an FBI investigator said today.

Sheriff Kevin Whaley said the escapees were Mike Smith, 22; Herbert Luck, 22; Clair Bowman, 30; and Tyrone Stehle, 21.

"We're doing our best to track them down," Whaley said. "This could be a bad one. Clair Bowman has killed before, and is clearly in an excited state after something like this happens. I don't know why some people break out when they don't have much time left. It's kind of stupid, isn't it?"

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What is this thing?
I don`t care, just do it again.