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I'm cleaning up my laptop, deleting old stuff. I'm finding lots of long-forgotten and abandoned projects, such as this play.
* * *
Software
A Play in Three Acts
Anonymous
CHARACTERS
USER ONE
AUTOMATED RECEPTIONIST
TECHNICAL SALES LEADER
TECHNICAL SALES MEMBER I
TECHNICAL SALES MEMBER II
ACT I
Stage Left: The curtain rises to reveal an utterly exhausted and disheveled User One in his home office, seated at a desk in front of a computer. He is cradling a thick computer manual in his lap, and is looking at his telephone with resignation.
User One places the manual softly down on the desk, looks up a telephone number from the back of a software box, and dials.
The rest of the stage is initially dark. As User One completes dialing, Stage Right is suddenly illuminated to reveal the Automated Receptionist, nattily dressed and standing on a small platform, unencumbered by software, telephone, or other technological trappings. He speaks in a loud, overly pleasant voice.
AUTOMATED RECEPTIONIST: Thank you for calling Computer Software Company. "Computer Software CompanyBecause There Are People."
We've reorganized our automated teleservices to better serve you, so listen carefully.
For automated web enquiries, Press One.
For automated technical support options, Press Two.
To browse our on-line collection of automated pre-recorded technical advisory notes, Press Three.
[Long pause]
[Very quickly] Or, to speak with a technical support person, press Star Pound 2 7.
[Lights momentarily dim on the Automated Receptionist as User One presses four buttons on his telephone.]
AUTOMATED RECEPTIONIST: Thank you for choosing Computer Software Company Technical Support. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. Your call will be answered within [Long Pause] five [Long Pause] minutes.
Lights dim on User One and Automated Receptionist.
Far Stage Right, Enter the Technical Sales Team (Leader, Member I, and Member II). All three shoulder computer laptops or other suitable computing devices.
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM LEADER: Are you absolutely sure?
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM MEMBER I: Yes.
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM MEMBER II: It never was even on the schedule!
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM LEADER: Are you absolutely sure?
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM LEADER: [Pauses. Turns to TST Leader.] Yes.
TECHNICAL SALES TEAM LEADER: How can we sell something that we don't even have?
I'll spare you the rest. I wrote it in 1995. Poof! Deleted.
Posted at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
1) Is the temporary-looking fence that recently went up along a good portion of the wetlands where I go running truly "ELECTRIFIED"?
Answer: Yes. In today's run, I came across people fussing over the fence. THANE: Is that thing really electrified? GUY: Yes. THANE: Why? GUY: There are going to be three hundred goats eating grass and scrub here, starting Saturday. THANE: Three hundred goats? GUY: Yes. THANE: Forever? GUY: No goat is forever. They'll be here just five days.
Note to selfbring camera on Sunday's run. "No goat is forever"wish I could have said that.
2) What's the right karma to apply in setting up a secondary router in our house? And maybe I could just buy a simple hub instead?
Answer: You idiot! You have the secondary router set up already! See that thing blinking forlornly under a pile of cables behind that printer and under your long-since dead and departed ISDN equipment? That's the secondary router you installed and promptly forgot about.
Posted at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I love browsing through other people's flickr photos. Most of them (like most of my photos) are boring. Then suddenly in the midst of them there will be a snapshot like this, and I can't stop staring at it. What makes this photo so great? I don't know. I guess I'll stare at it some more.
Added later: Looks like whoever took this photo, which shows two people at a table in what looks like a French farmhouse, each with one elbow propped up on it and interesting expressions on their faces, either just turned off blogging of their photos, or flickr is flaky, or something, I don't know. Anyway there's still a link to it that works, which I used above. If that goes away, I guess we've got another case of privacy-itis on our hands. Why do people use software and tools that distributes content to the world if they're not willing to share that content? Perhaps because the interfaces to flickr are so complicated...I don't know
Posted at 12:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Louise Pound was a pioneer among women athletes in the state of Nebraska, enjoying much success during her high school age years although never participating in structured high school athletics. Tennis and golf were her top sports, but she gained acclaim in figure skating, skiing, cycling, basketball, swimming, riding, and bowling. She was the captain of the University of Nebraska basketball team. She was Lincoln's best woman golfer for more than 20 years and in 1916 was the first state women's golf champion. In tennis, many of her championships came against all comers, including men. At one time, she was the top-ranked amateur tennis player in the country. During her 50 years as a professor at the University of Nebraska, she was a staunch advocate of increased opportunities in athletics for females.
Posted at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
From a blog about bedbug infestation:
It may be possible to control bedbugs pretty well in an apartment with an uncooperative landlord by exterminating yourself and caulking very thoroughly, and it's worth a try if you are very attached to your apartment.
Posted at 10:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Labeled the "Gibbon's Bungalow" when Kearney photographer John Stryker photographed it in 1918, it shows many of the features of the Craftsman style: decorative braces and and abundance of wood trim. The many windows flood the rooms in natural light, bringing the outdoors inside. It was one of the homes
featured in the 1921 booklet created to promote Kearney.
It was built in 1918 by Cecil and Effie Gibbons on a lot they bought from John Gibbons Lowe and his wife Grace who owned the house to the north. It was later owned by Merle and Elsie Pierce in 1942, Wilma Imming in 1948 and the Bob and Lucille Cole family from 1959-79. Since then it has bee the family home of Vince and patty Wright. This house is pictured in the 1992 Nebraska Historic Buildings Survey.
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