THANE: Look at those cars in the next lane. They're flying through the tollbooths because they have those electronic EASYPASS things.
GLORIA: That's not what they're called, "Easy Pass."
THANE: We need one of those things. How much do they cost?
GLORIA: We never go anywhere! You don't commute! Why would we buy one?
THANE: Becausewell, they are just too cool. Look at those smirking peoplethey're laughing at us because they've got the goddamnned DRIVE-ON-THRU things. Look at that truck! He hardly slowed down. Here we are in the CASH lane, it's like some kind of Soviet bread line. This sucks. To make it interesting, when we get to the front of this stupid CASH line, I'm not going to pay $4. No, I'll tell him, "For me, for my family, $3.00, final offer." Then I'll wait to see what the toll guy says. I'm sure he's a reasonable person, and we'll be able to come to some sort of understanding. I'll mention, for example, that I fully support the MOTOR-GLIDE thing, that I'm going to sign up for it, you know, next week. I'm a good customer!
GLORIA: I am not listening to you.
THANE: Then, if he says no, I'll say, "OK, deal: $3.50". This is so boring. And you know what? I picked the wrong CASH line.
GLORIA: That's not what they're called, either, "Drive-On-Thru." Why can't you read the signs?
COLE: Daddy doesn't know what they're called.
THANE: Who cares what they're called. I need one. Can you transfer them between cars? That would be cool. Gotta to have one of those things.
GLORIA: We never go anywhere! How many times do we go over those bridges? We are so not going to spend money that.
THANE: OK, so, I took Cole to California Carnivores. The people with the FUN-DRIVERS were smirking at me then too. Also, I went to Ahwahnee. I waited forever. YesI'm getting one of those things.
OWEN: Daddy doesn't know what they're calledhe's making those names up.
COLE: Yeah, let's get a HAPPY-DRIVER. Or is it a SMIRK-N-SIT.
THANE: Right! Who cares what they're called. ZIP-N-SMILE, whatever, I want one!